This Just In

If movies could be summarized in one newspaper headline…

 

**possible spoilers**

The Dark Knight:

Billionaire dresses up as bat; beats up clown.

Psycho:

B&B owner/Momma’s boy linked to dozens of missing persons.

Signs:

Extraterrestrials invade planet that is 70% water despite being allergic to water.

Whiplash:

Rude music teacher ruins concert

There Will Be Blood:

Ambitious prospector strikes oil; drinks local preacher’s milkshake.

American Beauty: 

Gay murderer’s son films plastic bag

Citizen Kane:

Newspaper tycoon owned sled as child

Requiem for a Dream:

Three teens do heroin; ruin everyone’s weekend.

Gran Torino:

Local racist befriends car thief.

A Beautiful Mind:

Schizo reforms game theory.

The Sixth Sense:

Dead psychologist councils local medium.

12 Years a Slave:

“150 years later, slavery is still bad” experts report.

The Lord of the Rings: 

Midget walks barefoot across continent; throws jewelry into volcano.

The Shawshank Redemption:

Interview with escaped convict reports, “Prison not so bad. I’m besties with Morgan Freeman.”

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s