First Post

Let’s not focus on the past. You don’t know my past I don’t know your past and I think we should just keep it that way. Something you should know about me however is that I am basically an atheist. I don’t believe in God or the church or angels and demons and all that Halloween town bullshit. I realize that this may offend some people but luckily I doubt anyone except you will read this. But I am writing it anyway, on the off chance that someone will read it and might, just might, think to themselves, “oh… that person existed and things happened to him and he happened to things and because of him something is different.” Or something to that affect… effect or whichever FFECT its supposed to be. I think that having someone acknowledge your existence is just as good of a meaning to life than God. I mean isn’t that why people do what they do? In the hopes that maybe somebody will see and then they will have made their mark on the world. 

Anyways, like I said I don’t want to focus on the past. Lets talk about right now. Right now my mind and so many other parts of my body are focused on one thing. And that thing is not actually a thing its a girl. Don’t get too excited though this will almost certainly not be an awesome love story, I have felt that way about many girls and nothing romantical ever happened. Sometimes I will just sit there and imagine my life if I end up with them, which I realize is like some serial killer psychopath shit, since my generation has all but given up on love and everything that was once romantic or genuine is just sort of creepy and clingy now… but I digress. 

This girl is different. I have said that about all of them, but she really is different. I think that everyone these days is basically just derivatives of some cookie cutter version of everyone else in the entire world. What I mean is that nobody really acts like themselves anymore. They see the cool-guy and they want to be like him, but in their own unique and special way, which is fucked up in my opinion. I am not excluding myself from this claim, I see the cool guys and how they get the cool girls and I just want to be fucking cool but not in a copy cat sort of way. I would say anywhere from 99-100% of my actions are governed by other people and I don’t think I am alone in this. This girl though… she isn’t like anyone in the entire world and for some reason I am devastatingly, irrevocably attracted to that. Oh and also she is amazingly beautiful which doesn’t really hurt the cause. I think what makes her different is that when I told my friends about every other girl who I thought was going to one day be my other half I would say something like “She’s perfect.” But this girl…. this girl is not perfect in anyway and it makes her so much better than everyone else. 

I’m not really sure how long a blog is supposed to be so I will end this one now. Most likely my next post will be something about this girl… or at least I hope it will.    


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